From The Absolutely Perfect To The Depressingly Pitiful
Date: October 15, 2012
By: Lexi Mars
The costumes, the parties, the candy — Halloween is one of the best holidays of the year. With the Remember MEdia team being ultra-crafty, the costumes are totally our favorite part. Desiree will definitely be rocking a card-board camera costume (a Nikon… duh) that will be glittered and bejeweled within an inch of it’s life, and you’ll find myself rocking a Comic Con worthy cosplay, like Mera of Aquaman, or Batgirl. Halloween brings out the nerdy in our team, but what it brings out in other people… well, can be just downright scary.
Some of our favorite costumes that we’ve seen on Halloween blogs and in our news feeds include: a bottle of Jack Daniels accompanied by a child dressed as a pack of Marlboros (you know your parents have a sense of humor when…) and the cute couples costume of each going as half of a box of Nerds (how sweet… no pun intended).
“Unfortunately those awesome costumes are often followed by the downright creepy, and not in a scary way but in an “ew, yeah you’re going to molest me” kind of way. “
Like Mammogram Man. I wonder how many drinks he gets poured on his lap before the end of the night?
We’ve all seen it, the horrors of Halloween costumes gone awry. From the slutty French maid to the poorly executed drag queen (key words: poorly executed, drag queens are rad). So we decided to throw together a list of the best and worst Halloween costumes, from the absolutely perfect to the depressingly pitiful. Are you ready for the terrors that await?
1. A Unicorn: The epitome of a versatile Halloween costume. Grab your bedazzler because it’s about to get magic all up in here. Seriously though, this costume just needs a little imagination, a lot of DIY, and you’ll have the best costume at the party in no time. You can do this costume solo or invite your other half for the full unicorn effect. Pink, purple, white, gold… let your imagination and your bedazzler run wild.
2. Snow White and the Huntsman Evil Queen: I’m really not a fan of Kirsten Stewart, and Snow White and the Huntsman really didn’t alter my opinion of her in any way. But that’s okay, because I’m not suggesting you rock Snow White’s costume. The Evil Queen is where it’s at, the crown, the elaborate dress — when did villains get so fashion forward? Now this isn’t a costume for the weak of sewing skills, but you’re an Evil Queen, so that shouldn’t be a problem now should it?
3. Designer Sugar Skull: Okay, we accept that not all of us are as skilled with a sewing machine and hot glue gun as we may think we are. The designer sugar skull is the perfect combination of sexy/spooky/classy and simple. Take inspiration from your fave traditional tattoo artist when creating your makeup look, style your hair to Betty-Paige-pin-up perfection and throw on your favorite dress. Voila, you’re ready for whatever the night has in store, and you look anything but typical.
4. Sexy Obscure Animals: Animal rights are hot. Not in a PETA-throwing-blood kind of way, but a creating awareness of your favorite endangered species way. Think I’m crazy? What about the platypus, all you need is a brown body suite, some killer black boots, a black cream makeup to create your platypus bill and voila. Simple and made with love… Discretion: please do not take advantage of this opportunity to bring up an endangered (and often adorable) species just so you can blather on to fellow partygoers about how you are going to save the world. No one will like you.
1. Honey Booboo: The. Worst. Thing. To. Happen. To. America. Evil spawn of a “Coupon Queen” and a toddler in a tiara, this girl is everything wrong with reality T.V. Now, I know you think you might be clever and that dressing up as this tiny awful child will have everybody laughing- you are wrong. This costume is the equivalent to wearing a giant sign on your chest saying, “I waste my time watching terrible T.V. Skip the parties, stay home, watch Jersey Shore.
2. Sexy Hamburger: This is a real thing. I get dressing up like an animal and thinking you’re sexy, you know with all that spirit animal, and channeling your wild instincts or whatever. There is nothing sexy about a hamburger. Unless you have a food fetish. But that’s probably something you should keep to yourself and your partner. Hamburgers are comfort food, and there is nothing comfortable about a tight hamburger spandex dress and a pushup bra.
3. Sexy Nemo: Clownfish are in danger of ending up on that very precious endangered species list, so if you are drawing attention to that, well I may rethink this. But turning a fish from a child’s movie into a sexy costume is kind of awkward. The only people who will recognize your costume as Nemo, the adorable clown fish from the Disney Pixar movie, will probably be under the age of 10. So who exactly are you trying to pick up in that costume? Like I said. Just. Wrong.
4. Angry Birds: To be filed under W.T.F. These costumes are not only hideous, but are also extremely lame. You know, the kind of costumes that middle-aged parents who have given up on life order in a last minute attempt to be hip and trendy with their embarrassed children. That is the only time anyone should ever consider a costume like so. Genuinely that obsessed with Angry Birds? I think you may need to take a long hard look at your life.